He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize