I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You smell like stripper and shame
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
