So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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