She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
