Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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