Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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