R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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