Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
