She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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