at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
