You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
