Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
