He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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