he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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