Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
