Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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