Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
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Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
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He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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