she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
