So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize
