My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
