Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
