I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
