Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
