well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
