So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
