In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize