I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
