Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
