Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
