We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
