Have you finally orgasmed yet?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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