is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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