Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
