hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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