i think i have herpe
just one?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I understand Curling. That high.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
