When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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