I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Still dying that you shit outside
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
