shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
