There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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