The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
