You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
