remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
