he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
