he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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