You're my little dorito
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize