I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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