Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
