She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
