Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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