he thought i was a dude.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
