This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
