I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
