I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
