woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
