Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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