please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
