sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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