Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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