i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
