69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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