Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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