And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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