Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
